A Deal With A Boggart
by rosedemon54
Summary: Sprout has been handed a challenge by Lupin and Snape. Laughs, strictly.


Pomona Sprout was enjoying a guilty pleasure alone in her office. Thumbing through the latest edition of Martha Stewart's magazine, she could not contain her laughter.

"Oh my, my dear Martha," she smirked as she turned the page. "Giving the Muggle world gardening tips that won't work. I know your little tricks. Can't fool a fellow herbolgist, you know. I can tell when magic is used."

A rap at the office door startled Sprout. She hurriedly put her magazine into a drawer, shuffled some papers on her desk and collected herself.

"Come in," she said in a proper voice. She was expecting a student but was pleasantly surprised when Remus Lupin opened the door. She smiled. Remus had been one of her favorite students and now had become one of her favorite associates.

"Remus," she said as he entered the room. "How good it is to see you."

At the doorway Sprout sensed a dark form in the hallway. It walked toward the door and into the light of her office.

"Oh," she said with a undeniable sigh of disgust, "good day, Professor Snape."

"Happy to see you too, Professor," Snape sneered as he took a seat in her office.

"What is that I have done that I have the pleasure of both of you fine teachers in my office today?" Sprout asked settling back in her chair.

Remus looked slightly embarrassed as he leaned on her bookcase. "We have a bit of a problem with a boggart and we need your help."

Sprout laughed out loud. "A boggart? I can't imagine why. Both of you are well versed in the Dark Arts and how to combat them. A simple flick of a wand and 'Riddikulus' will do. Any first year student can do that."

"Part of the problem is that the first year students are responsible for the boggart," Remus said. "They seem to have created it with a collective fear."

Sprout was confused and gestured her hands for an explanation. Remus continued.

"It seems one Friday night a group of Slytherin first year students decided to have a fright night. They got hold of a Muggle machine that shows movies on the telly."

"It is called a Vid-ee-oo," Snape said quietly.

Sprout nodded. "And so they watched some movies."

"Muggle horror movies," Remus corrected her. "Pretty laughable material for the most part. Devils, possessed children, vampires..."

"Werewolves," Snape added.

Remus glared at his associate. "Yes, and some werewolf movies. Harmless entertainment, until one of the girls got extremely frightened by one of the monsters. A boggart must have been floating about is all we can surmise, probably waiting for one of the students to catch a fright and take advantage of it."

"Boggarts do that," Sprout offered, still confused at what this had to do with her.

"Yes and this one caught the fears of several girls and boys of Slytherin house," Remus continued. "Soon the fear of this boggart went through the collective minds of the house and took on a life of its own. Now it is firmly planted in Slytherin dorms, scaring the entire student body there. Of course the more frightened the students are of it, the more strength it gains. We have tried everything including a mass chorus of the counter spell. Nothing has eliminated it."

"I have never heard of such a thing," Sprout exclaimed.

"It is a rare occurrence," Snape intoned, "but not unusual. I have found several cases in which a boggart was able to feed off the fears of entire town and become a permanent entity. A case in point was the town of Creeper-on-the-Hill in the north country in the 1700s."

"They must have been able to get rid of the boggart somehow," Sprout said shaking her head. "How did they do it?"

"They didn't, " Remus said. "They deserted the town."

"We cannot desert the school," Snape said. "That would cause some problems."

"I should say so," Sprout agreed. "Now that you have explained to me the boggart problem, how is it that I can help."

Remus looked down sheepishly at his feet. "We brought it along to see what you could do with it, Sprout."

"You brought a bloody boggart to my office?" Sprout cried.

"It's in a box," Remus quickly assured. "It won't bother with you or any of us for that fact. It just seems to like scaring the Slytherins."

Snape rose from his seat and left the office. When he returned he had a large box in his arms. He placed it on the floor in front of Sprout's desk.

"Mind if I ask," Sprout said eyeing the box warily,. "what movie created this boggart monster."

Snape pulled a small box from under his robes and handed it to Sprout.

"This one?" Sprout said surprised. "I have seen this one. It's not scary at all. The movie is in black and white for Merlin's sake. How did anyone find this monster scary?"

"Who is to fathom the depths of the mind of a young girl and her fear," Remus mused.

"Simple, " Snape quipped, "she is a dunderhead. As the whole lot of them seem to be this year. Their weak minds have allowed this boggart to take over."

"Says a lot for Slytherins minds in general," Remus retorted, still stinging from the werewolf reference.

Snape's face was changing color from its normal pale hue to a deeper red when Sprout decided to change the subject.

"Let us see what you have," she sighed. "Open the box and let it out."

Snape nodded and slowly untied the cord that held the box shut. A flash of light appeared from the box and swirl of a form flew out. Whirling and morphing, it settled on Sprout's desk. At lightening speed it turned into the monster that had held Slytherin house hostage. Green leaves fingered the air while vining about the legs of Sprout's desk. A large seed pot stretched and yawned. It smiled at her and spoke.

"FEED ME," it demanded as it licked its lips at Sprout.

Sprout stood speechless as she stared at the boggart monster plant.

"Is there something you could do with it?" Remus asked hopefully. "As I have said the usual counter curses seem to have no effect on it."

"We have tried to throw it out," Snape added. "Left it in the forest, in a Hogsmeade back alley and out by the lake. It finds its way back to the dorms each time."

Sprout rubbed her forehead with her hands and felt a migraine on the way. "I suppose it could find some spell in one of my books, perhaps a potion, to make it disappear. Oh, I don't know. This is going to take some time."

Remus patted her on the shoulder. "Take all the time you need, Sprout. I am sure of anyone you can help us out here."

"We will just leave the boggart with you for any further research," Snape said as he backed up to the door.

"Splendid idea," Remus agreed as he began to slowly inch away from the desk. "You may need it to, say, try out the counter spells on."

"Now wait a minute," Sprout said starting to panic, "you can't leave this thing with me."

"I knew we could count on you," Remus smiled as he made it to the door. "Good luck with it."

The door slammed shut as Sprout gulped the word no to herself. She flopped down into her chair with the monstrous boggart plant on her desk. It seemed to be grooming itself and not interested in her what so ever. The silence in the office finally made it aware they were alone. It turned to Sprout and leered at her. Sprout grabbed the video box and waved it at the boggart plant. For its part, the boggart ducked and laughed at her.

"Bloody thing," Sprout said to herself out loud. "What am I to do with you? If the two best masters at Dark Arts Defense and the entire population of Slytherin can't get rid of you, what I am to do? Nasty thing, scaring all those children silly. Most likely they walk a straight

path when you are about, don't they?"

A thought crossed Sprout's mind. She leaned over and narrowed her eyes at the boggart. The boggart stood still and focused its attention on Sprout.

"What say you?" she asked. "A deal. You can stay. I will even give you a nice place in the greenhouse in the sun. Maybe a errant mouse or rat once in awhile."

The boggart's leaves twitched. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing. Just when an unruly class starts up, remind them you are here."

The boggart leered at her. "You mean threaten them with my presence?"

Sprout rapped her fingers on her desk. "Someone who is messing with my mandrakes, or not paying attention in class. The sassy ones, the rude ones, all the ones who disrupt my lectures or don't respect the others. Yes, just remind them you are here."

The boggart reached a vine out to Sprout's wrist and wrapped around it. "Sounds good. Could we make it more than a mouse for dinner though? I am a growing plant, you know. Mice are a rather lean meal for someone like myself."

Sprout narrowed her eyes again and opened the desk drawer. She held the Martha Stewart magazine with both hands in front of the boggart and threatened it. The boggart shrunk in dread.

"Don't make me call in back up," Sprout hissed. "Make one false move and you will be nothing more than compost."

"Deal, deal," the boggart pleaded. "I will do as you ask."

Sprout leaned back in her chair and placed the magazine in her lap."Well that's done. We have an agreement, Audrey isn't it? That's what they called you in the movie."

The boggart stuck its tongue out. "Never liked that name. Can we agree on something else?"

"I don't have a problem with that. What do you want to be called?"

The boggart straightened its stem and held its seed pod high. "I rather like Hannibal."

Sprout nodded. "Hannibal it is, then."


End file.
